Laws, Rules & Etiquette

Big Wednesday is a cellebration of manhood through the sport of tennis & beer drinking each Wednesday in a secret east coast Australian location. Participation requires adhering to the etiquette described below, sprinkled amongst which are laws and rules amending the general rules of tennis. There is a single guiding principle… its about Respect.

Match Fees

  1. Match Fees are $15 and are payable on the night.
  2. Match Fees include Tennis & Beer.
  3. BigWednesday Members who decide not to drink Beer still incur the full Match Fee.
  4. Injured players who still travel to the BigWednesday Colosseum to participate in non-playing activities (as should be the case) will not be charged Match Fees.
  5. Beer will be charged to non-playing BigWednesday members at $2 per Beer.
  6. Match Fees not paid on the night will incur a Fine of $5 payable the following week along with Match Fees for both weeks. Which means the minimum payment the week after not paying Match Fees will be $35.
  7. A fellow BigWednesday Member may lend you money if they wish, but if they do not want to lend you the money so that you can be taught a valuable lesson you are unable to gain credit from the TinMan. It’s about Respect!
  8. The TinMan, formerly known as the BagMaster must be informed if the above Laws are effected.

Fines

Balls Over The Fence

  1. Any player who hits the Ball over the fence whilst on court will incur a $1 Fine for each Ball
  2. An additional $1 Fine will be incurred if the Ball is lost.
  3. Players who hit the Ball over the fence claiming a “dud” Ball may not do so unless three other BigWednesday Members agree to it first.
  4. All BigWednesday Members have a duty of care in Ball retrieval. Off-court Members must retrieve the Ball for on-court players. Failure for off-court BigWednesday Members to do this will result in a $1 Fine for all off-court Members.
  5. If there are no Members off-court then the player who hit the Ball out of court must retrieve the Ball immediately after the game. If this isn’t the player’s first action after leaving the court then a further $1 Fine will be incurred.
  6. The last player to have touched the Ball before it goes over the fence is responsible for the Fine whether it was their fault or not. (Case Study “Whisk vs Volcano” — whilst on the same team the Whisk served a Ball into the back of the Volcano’s head and the Ball duly went over the fence. The Court ruled that as the last player to touch the ball it was the Volcano who was to be fined).
  7. Balls that go under or through the fence do not incur a Fine, however the Ball retrieval rules apply and associated Fines for non Ball retrieval.

Leaving The Gate Open

  1. Any player leaving the Gate on Court 2 open will be fined $1 for each Ball that on-court players hit through it, up to a maximum of $5.
  2. If Ghosting3 can be proved the player acting as the Ghost will incur the Fine. A minimum of 2 other BigWednesday Members aside from the Ghost and Ghostee will be required to witness and enforce the Ghosting rule.
  3. Balls from outside of the court are not permitted to be thrown on the court so that on-court players can hit them through the Gate. Only Balls on the court at the time may be hit through the Gate.
  4. When 3 courts are in use by players the Gate Rule also applies to Court 1.

Safety Officer

  1. One BigWednesday Member acts as Safety Officer and wears the Orange Vest and regulation Hard Hat at all times.
  2. Safety Officer supervises Ball retrieval and other safety issues.
  3. Shift can be handed over to any BigWednesday Member leaving the Court after a game.

BigWednesday Shirts

  1. Holders of the latest release of BigWednesday Shirts, which is the BigWednesday 2008 1. Red, White & Green Edition, must wear their Shirts every week. It is not satisfactory to bring the Shirt and not wear it.
  2. A $5 Fine is incurred if the Shirt is not worn on the night.
  3. No excuses will be entered into.

Non Attendance

  1. If a BigWednesday Member is unable to make a BigWednesday and has not notified a BigWednesday BoardMember by the Monday night previous a $5 Fine will be incurred payable on the next BigWednesday attended.
  2. If a BigWednesday Member is sick or a genuinely caught up with work, special dispensation maybe granted if a BigWednesday Member is contacted that day.

Mobile Phones

  1. BigWednesday is a Cellebration of Manhood. It is the few hours per week that you can enjoy the sanctuary of a woman free zone. It is each and every BigWednesday Member’s responsibility to manage women in this regard. Not only is it an unhealthy showing that you can’t spend a few hours away from your girl without contact but it is also violating the sanctuary that other BigWednesday Members are enjoying. Contact with women is strictly forbidden whilst at BigWednesday between the hours of 19:00 and 22:00.
  2. Anyone violating the above Law will be fined $1 per phone call and $1 per text message
  3. It is understood that those with children and those who need to take work related calls would need to leave mobile phones on in an emergency. If this occurs, any BigWednesday Member may answer the phone and any consequence that occurs from this happening is the fault of phone owner.
  4. The above Law is not a loophole to allow you contact with women and it will be at the discretionary power of BigWednesday Members to decide if someone has violated this Law.
  5. Bring some milk home, dinners in the oven or messages of the like do not constitute an emergency.
  6. Gay BigWednesday Members with partners will be subject to the same Laws for their partner.

Urinating

  1. BigWednesday Players who leave the Court to urinate or do so on-court whilst in the middle of a Match will incur a $1 Fine.

Other BigWednesday Laws

  1. Each Match comprises of 1 set with no tie-breaker. If scores are level at 6 games each then it is the first team to be ahead by 2 games that wins.
  2. Players may not forfeit the game otherwise all players will incur a $1 Fine.
  3. A game may only end prematurely if there is genuine injury to one player and a replacement can’t be found, if the lights go out or if there is very heavy rain.
  4. If your team loses a game to love, i.e. 6–0 then the losing players will have suffered a Pantsing and must do one full lap around the Net from the centre line back to the starting point with their pants down.
  5. If a Ball is hit into an opposition player and is returned into play off any part of that player then this is deemed a valid shot and it is play on.
  6. If a line call is too close to call then it is in. No call and the Ball is in.
  7. If a line call is disputed and a minimum of 3 players cannot agree entirely on the call then the point is to be replayed.
  8. Sledging is allowed
  9. Genuine verbal abuse such as “Fuck off, you fucking poofter” will not be allowed and is punishable under the discretionary powers of the BigWednesday Board. (Case Study “Molly vs Sha Sha” — where the latter directed this comment in anger over a line call dispute. Other notable case studies include “Crazy vs Whisk”).
  10. Hitting the Ball at your opponent is allowed during a game, however any physical abuse will not be tolerated.
  11. Physical abuse includes deliberately hitting the Ball at someone in anger or frustration, punching, kicking, slapping etc. (Case Study “Slappy vs Molly” — where the latter slapped the former). Punishable under the discretionary powers of the BigWednesday Board.
  12. The TinMan, formerly known as the BagMaster is the BeerMan, formerly known as the BeerMaster. It is the TinMan’s responsibility to buy Beer each week.
  13. The TinMan may appoint any BigWednesday Member to put the Beer in the fridge and no BigWednesday Member may refuse this honour.
  14. Keep BigWednesday clean. It is everyone’s responsibility to clean up after themselves. Smokers, pick up your butts and drinkers put your bottles in the bin. Same goes for you, eaters.

BigWednesday Board Discretionary Powers

  1. BigWednesday Board Members may at any time invoke penalties and Punishments upon BigWednesday Members and players including other Members of the Board for serious violation of the Laws of BigWednesday or conduct considered unacceptable to BigWednesday standards under the Etiqutte standards.
  2. Penalties and Punishments may take the form of Fines, suspensions or other deemed activities such as BigWednesday “Bitch For A Night” where the Bitch will be at the beck and call of all BigWednesday Members and players.

Glossary